Thursday, May 27, 2010

A Year and a Day

I get tired of saying that learning I was conceived via sperm donor was the most shocking episode of my life, but it's true.  There is nothing like having the rug that your entire life was built upon pulled out from under you.  But it's been a year, as of yesterday, and I'm functioning, which is WAY more than I can say regarding my mental status this time last year. 

A year ago today, I was sitting on a church member's couch, trying to hid my tears and wondering why in the world I didn't have the sense to tell my husband I needed to stay home.  I think that I realized that life was going on and I figured I needed to go on with it, not knowing that shock really can be debilitating.  I was in a complete fog.  My husband had to tell me what to do throughout the day.  I just could not make myself function.  I hope that was the hardest part of all of this, because if it is, then it's over with.  I can't imagine it being that difficult in the future. 

A year later, I can say that God has been so gracious to sustain me.  I can see how this could have easily sent me off the deep end, never to return.  A friend asked me a while back what this has done for my faith.  It truly strengthened it.  It made me run to Christ even faster than usual for comfort. 

"...Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin.  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4.14-16)

I've had verses of Scripture that were especially comforting to me in various situations in my life, but I've not really identified a verse (or passage) that so well illustrates this year of dealing with my new (but old) reality.  But this passage would do it.  It sums it up well.

1 comment:

  1. God has sustained you well!

    He is kind even in the very difficult trials that bring with it endurance and sanctification in life. For you are being formed into the image of His Son Jesus Christ each day.

    Consider that, my love, joy!