Is The Use Of "Donor" Gametes Biblically Permissible?

Something I see pretty frequently when people ask the question online if it's ok for Christians (or anyone for that matter) to use a sperm donor to conceive a baby is a terribly inaccurate use of Scripture to support an affirmative answer.  "Go forth and multiply!" and "Children are a blessing from the Lord!" seem to be the standard fare as an answer.  Those two verses are taken completely out of context when given as a prescriptive answer in this situation.  Context is so important to knowing what a verse actually says and means.*

So I'm trying to figure it out - just where does God stand on this issue of introducing a third party into the one-flesh relationship of marriage?  My feeling is that it is not a "God sanctioned" way to create a child, however I know my feelings are no basis for truth since feelings change and truth does not, by it's very definition.  I do not feel that it is on the same level as adultry since there is no physical relationship involved in the use of a donor (at least in mainstream cases...I guess there's always the exception to the rule.)  But I just don't see God giving loopholes in marriage: ie., my spouse can't give me a child, so I'll get someone else to give me a child.  And doesn't it seem akward to know that a wife is having another man's baby?  Is God cool with that?

I am praying for wisdom.



*There is a story about the man who decided to seek guidance from God by opening the Bible at random and sticking a pin in the page, and trusting that the words where the pin stuck indicated God's will for him.

The pin landed in the latter part of Matthew 27:5, describing the actions of Judas Iscariot: "he went and hanged himself."

Not satisfied with the result, the man tried again, and this time the pin landed at the end of Luke 10:37: "You go, and do likewise."

Thank you

I am so thankful to the Lord for the encouragement that I've received over the last couple of days from several of you.  It has really lightened my heart to know that I am not alone in this situation and that there are others who know what I'm feeling.  I am humbled that you would take time to encourage me in this crazy struggle. 

And a huge, heartfelt thank you to my sweet new friend who has encouraged me over the last several months. You've been so open and honest with your situation and I'm so glad that I've gotten to know you.

This is exhausting

Within a few minutes of hearing about my conception using artificial insemination, I had figured out that this was going to be something in the forefront of my mind for quite a while.  Of course, in the "early days" it was so much in my thoughts that it crowded out other thoughts.  Now, almost 9 months later, it's still there at the beginning and end of each day and everywhere in between. 

Yes, life is 'normal' again - I go through each day without sitting at my computer for several hours at a time, but its still there in my thoughts and frankly, I'm just tired.  I'm tired of escaping it for a little while, only to remember again and feel the shock of it all over again.  I'm tired of having memories of my childhood pop into my mind, only to look at them from a different angle now.  I'm tired of keeping secrets.  I'm tired of wondering if I'll ever find my biological father and if I do, is he going to reject me simply because I exist?  If he doesn't reject me from the beginning, will he reject me because I'm a Christian?

I feel completely drained, and its in all areas of life.  And as I reread that last sentence, I'm reminded of Matthew 11.28 where Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  I would not be able to cope with this if it weren't for the Lord.  I am just too easily broken to be able to carry such a load on my own.  So I guess I just told myself what the answer is: I'm tired because I'm trying to carry it on my own.